Marrige or the single life?These are two very complicated roads everyone in life must decide on at some point.After all both roads have there perks and pitfalls.For some people the idea of marrige has always been thier choice.They stand in front of mirrors pretending to be brides planning that day from the time they are little girls.For others the meer mention of marrige sends them running for the hills.Of course lifes roads are never straight, they get windy,with huge hills,new avenues and exits you never thought you'd take.My favorite road was always clear to me in this area until about 27 years old when a sharp turning curve through me completly onto a new interstate.
Marrige.For a very long time that word was enough to make me want to vomit and hide.I was always the one to say ,"Oh no,no,no no, not me!"If you'd seen the inside of my parents marrige the way I did it would be clear why I felt that way.The arguing,the deciet,the affairs,the lying,the long silences that made you wish you were deaf.I saw no good coming from that institution.The only things I could see coming from any marrige was a long dragged out divorce and a lot of fighting.The effect of this on me was monumental.I was never getting married.I did not want to end up miserable just because I had a moment of seeing someone through rose colored glasses.Somehow though rose became a beautiful color later down the road.
Living free and on my own terms.Awww yes this would be my road I always had thought.So much simpler.I would live in a high rise apartment over looking the city's millions of lights at night with pale colors throughout my place and glass furniture.No room for another human being.Come and go as I please do as only I wish.After watching years of bickering I was ready for this life and only this life.Some girls dream of their wedding day I dreamed of move in day.
That rose color became very bright to me suddenly,unexpected almost like having cold water poured over you're head when your eyes are closed.Of course the cold water was my husband.And all of the sudden I began to see that marrige could be good,loving and a real partnership.Huh,funny how strongly you can feel about something,how the effects can drasticly change you and yet still you can find yourself going down the very road you thought was closed forever.
For 27 years the effects of my parents marrige road had me steering and speeding towards an entirely different path.And yet still I ended up on that very road.I believe it goes to show that no matter how hard we try to change the things in our life that effected us the most it is still the most familiar road.So wiether you are looking for the road or not it somehow swings sharp to the left and cuts you off at the pass.They say that the experiences in you're life make you who you are but I think the effect of those experiences have impacted who I am much, much more.
I think you manage to carry off the road comparison throughout and work in the effects too, though it's a little bit of a stretch perhaps.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'll take it!